please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize