you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
