literally had 100 drinks last night.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
