; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
ttyl tear gas
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
