Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize