Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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