Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
