Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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