I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
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As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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