The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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