she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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