just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
