Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
