Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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