who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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