loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
