he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
