In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize
