If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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