Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
