Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
