I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
