I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Everyone says I win the strip club
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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