U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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