I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
