I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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