It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
