My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
