I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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