did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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