i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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