Me too!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
