people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
