69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize