a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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