this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
