drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
