Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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