so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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