you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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