im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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