Your face is a jimmy john
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
