Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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