I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
