Acid is not a monday night drug
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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