if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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