I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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