You work out of a Hotel?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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