That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
