She announced her abortion via fbk
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
