he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
