what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
