my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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