Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i think my tv is drunk
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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