I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
