she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
