I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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