I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
