Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
