were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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