You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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