I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
