I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
