i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
