they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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