I puked a lego.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
