i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize