Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Randomize
