I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
