He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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